The ultimate productivity checklist
Read below to learn the SECRET techniques that billionaires don't want you to know!
I'm an expert on of the following with a proven track record. Let me bestow my wisdom on you.
THE ULTIMATE CHECKLIST
- Ensure you're busy at all times.
- Read a book on productivity.
- If you ever have multiple things that seem important, just do all of them. Preferably today.
- Take a short break and check social media or YouTube shorts.
- Multitask whenever possible.
- Read another book on productivity.
- Stress about all the things you should be doing right now.
- Evaluate whether you should switch to that other app for the fifth time.
- Fill your every waking hour with input.
- Check if there is a YouTube video on how to be productive.
- Ruminate on all the things you did but shouldn't have. Or on the things you didn't do but should have. Just remember to ruminate.
- Actually, don't just ruminate on them; dwell on them! Punish yourself. (After all, you could have used your time more optimally.)
- Think about how different everything would be if you just started sooner.
- I wonder if there are any new podcast episodes on productivity?
- Fuel yourself with stories of other people's successes and how easy it was for them to achieve them.
- Maybe read a book on productivity?
- There must be a better topic to write about.
If you want step-by-step instructions on how to do each of these steps, then upvote this post and join my Ultimate Productivity Ultra cours⏤
OK, fine. I'll stop.
I'm just letting out some steam for doing pretty much all those items on the list ⏤ more times than I want to admit.
And yes. There has been a somewhat similar sarcastic article somewhere, made by someone else at some point. So I'm not original. It's probably better and funnier than this one, but in case you haven't seen it or don't remember where to find it, this is what you're stuck with.
The real point of this post?
Don't take yourself or your lack of productivity so seriously. You're probably not alone. And if you are, well, at least you're original.
Unlike this post.
(I just realized how it looked like I was ending this post by telling you to unlike this post. I guess I ruined it now. Oh well...)